7 Unexpected Life Lessons from Building a DIY Wall-to-Wall Built-In (With No Construction Skills!)

Recently, I decided to build a dupe of a custom, wall-to-wall shelving unit. I had a specific vision for my living room and the reality of my living room at the time was not aligned to that vision (see Exhibit A below).

The “Before” set-up.

I think it’s important to note that I am in no way skilled in construction. However, I didn’t have the funds to pay someone who actually knew what they were doing. I am also prone to believing, for better or worse, that I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to; so, I decided to do it myself.

Always the optimist when estimating time, I anticipated the project would take a weekend to finish.

One month, many late nights (including one actual all-nighter, which I was shocked and delighted I was able to still do), and a surprising number of life lessons later, I finally finished.

Below are the 7 life lessons I learned through the building process.

LESSON 1: Having the right tools and knowing when and how to use them matters.

When I began this project, I quickly realized the importance of not only having the right tools but also understanding how to use them. For example, to make a cabinet door, you need to connect the frame with pocket hole screws. To create a pocket hole, you need a pocket hole jig. Not only did I not know what a pocket hole was, I also had to google “what is a jig?”. Once the pocket hole jig was acquired, I then unsuccessfully attempted to use it without following the instructions. It wasn’t until I took the time to actually learn how to use the tool that the tool was useful to me.

As a life and leadership coach, I’m always sharing new personal and professional development tools with my clients (e.g., the Enneagram, habit formation tools). However, the tools are only useful once my clients understand the intended outcome of using the tool, are willing to learn how and when to use the tool, and actually use the tool in the moments they would be most useful.

Our initial attempts at using new tools are often clumsy and awkward; however, persistence leads to mastery (see Lesson 3).

Reflection Prompt: What situations are you currently experiencing that would benefit from a new tool (literally or metaphorically)? What steps can you take to acquire and learn how to use a new tool?

LESSON 2: Measuring once and cutting 3 times is not a winning strategy.

One of my character defects is that I’m not the best at measuring. Sometimes that’s because I don’t have the right tools (e.g., a speed square, see Lesson 1) but sometimes it’s because I value efficiency over precision. As a result, my cabinet doors are not completely aligned because they’re not precisely the same size (all my Enneagram type 1 people are cringing).

Precision is about ensuring quality in the process, as differentiated from perfection, which is more concerned with a particular outcome. Similar to any way of being, precision serves in certain situations and not as much in others. The invitation is to consider when it does serve and then commit to maintaining integrity in the process versus winging it and getting a quick, and likely unsatisfactory, result.

Reflection Prompt: What parts of your work or life could benefit from increased precision?

LESSON 3: Experience leads to mastery.

The symmetry of the shelving unit design meant I needed to replicate each step on the other side, which provided an opportunity to apply learnings from the first side. Even if I had never done something before, I found that every process was significantly easier the second time around and I made fewer mistakes.

Our past experiences, even our mistakes, serve as valuable lessons for future endeavors. There's always something we can learn from every situation that we can then apply in the future. Often, we hold ourselves back because we don’t feel confident enough to do the thing we want to do, and we assume we need to feel confident to do it. In fact, confidence only comes from experience. It’s actually courage that we need in new situations. Once we practice doing the new thing and collect data points suggesting we can, in fact, do it, then we develop confidence. Thus, the only way to become confident at something is to be willing to be bad at it until we gain mastery through practice.

Reflection Prompt: What is something you’re holding yourself back from because you don’t feel confident or skilled enough? What would a courageous first step look like?

LESSON 4: Vision is crucial but meaningless without an execution plan.

Having a clear vision is critical. Vision is what brings meaning and direction to our endeavors. However, a vision without an execution plan becomes an idealistic dream.

I had a clear vision of what I wanted the shelving unit to look like, knew the first several steps I needed to take, and then had a vague sense of the remaining steps. However, once those initial steps were completed, I realized I didn’t factor in certain steps, over planned for some steps, and under planned for others. As a result, I felt stuck and overwhelmed at times and also wasted time going back and forth to Home Depot and Lowes to both buy more materials and return materials I didn’t end up needing (see Lesson 2).

Taking time upfront to craft a clear plan and then staying organized throughout will save you time in the long-run. Like the adage, “go slow to go fast”, it may have taken me longer to get started but would have taken less time overall if I had created a step-by-step plan in the beginning. My workspace was also chaotic most of the time, which meant I was constantly looking for misplaced screw drivers and drill bits and measuring tapes. When I took the time to organize, the process was much more efficient.

Reflection Prompt: Which of your projects could benefit from a more clear execution plan? What would it look like to carve out a bit of time to create that clarity?

LESSON 5: When you feel overwhelmed, just do the next right thing.

There were several points along the way when I felt stuck because I knew there was so much more I needed to do and, as mentioned, I didn’t have an A-Z plan to refer back to. In those moments, I asked myself, “what is the very next thing I need to do?” and then allowed myself to only focus on that specific thing. That process helped me to keep moving forward even when the path ahead seemed unclear. And, taking the next step often brought new clarity to the step after that.

When something feels overwhelming, it’s helpful to break it down into the immediate next step without worrying about the steps that come after that. Taking the immediate next step can create momentum that helps you figure out subsequent steps.

Reflection Prompt: What is something you’re feeling stuck in? What is the smallest next step you can take?

LESSON 6: When in doubt, phone a friend.

When I was about 10% of the way through the project, my friend Ashlei came over to help. As we worked together, she asked some great questions that helped me see gaps in my plan. At one point, we came across what seemed to me like an insurmountable roadblock and I almost scrapped the whole project right then. However, Ashlei was able to provide a different perspective that helped me see I was overcomplicating the process and there was a viable solution to the problem.

When you’re feeling stuck, it can be helpful to bring in a new perspective. As the saying goes, you can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into the problem in the first place. Being willing to ask for help, whether from your manager, coworkers, friends, partner, etc. can be invaluable in seeing things through a different lens and feeling both encouraged and re-energized.

Reflection Prompt: Where are you currently feeling stuck? Who can you share your situation with and ask for new perspective?

LESSON 7: There is profound satisfaction in accomplishing something that took significant effort.

When I finally finished the shelving unit, I felt immense pride. Not just in the outcome, even though it’s far from perfect, but in my persistence to see it through even when I wanted to quit. It was also gratifying to know I can still pull an all-nighter if I need or want to (though I definitely paid for that for multiple days after ha). Now every time I walk by the living room, I feel a sense of satisfaction because it reminds me I can do hard things and see things through to completion.

The final result.

This is a particularly meaningful reminder to me as I currently have many ongoing projects in both my personal and professional life that feel far from completion. Seeing this construction project through to the end encourages me that everything will come to fruition eventually, even if it takes hard work, sleepless nights, and perseverance. And, the reward isn’t just the results, but also the resilience, growth, and confidence (see Lesson 3) gained through the journey.

Reflection Prompt: What’s an example of a time you persevered through a hard and long project or situation? How can you use that experience as motivation to keep going in a currently challenging situation?

If you’re feeling stuck in general, I encourage you to build or plant something with your hands. It doesn’t have to be big or all-consuming, just something you can physically create, or create the conditions to create if it’s plant-related. There’s something about kinesthetically tapping into your creative capacity and seeing a project through from beginning to end that incites a sense of accomplishment that then ripples into other parts of your life.

Would love to hear what came up for you while reading this article! Drop me a line at jessica@jessicaskupien.com.

. . .

Jessica Skupien, PCC is an ICF-credentialed Life & Leadership Coach who helps people identify and overcome self-limiting beliefs so they can become effective, inspired, and inspiring leaders in both their professional and personal lives.

Click here to sign up for Jessica’s newsletter and receive more content like this.