7 Different Ways to Interpret and Respond to Any Situation.
“Oh wow, I’ve never thought about it in that way before. That makes me feel so much better.”
My client shared that comment during our coaching call this morning. She was feeling resistant to a conversation she needed to have due to her perspective of how the other person would react. I simply offered an alternative and equally plausible perspective.
Once she looked at the situation in a different way, she was able to shift out of her resistance and make a plan to have the meeting.
Have you ever experienced something similar? Making an assumption about something or someone that causes you to feel resistant or avoidant?
The way we see and interpret situations influences how we feel about those situations and how we subsequently behave.
One of the exercises I frequently take my coaching clients through involves looking at the situation they’re dealing with and interpreting what’s happening in the following 7 different ways:
Level 1 Interpretation (Powerlessness and self-judgement): “This situation is my fault and/or I am powerless to fix it. This is unfair.”
Level 2 Interpretation (Blame and anger): “Someone else is to blame for this situation and this situation (or person) is bad or wrong.”
Level 3 Interpretation (Rationalizing and coping): “I have at least some accountability in this situation. This is fine.”
Level 4 Interpretation (Care and concern): “I wonder what is happening for the other person that would cause them to show up in this way. I know what they need to be okay.”
Level 5 Interpretation (Solution-focus and growth mindset): “There’s something I can learn from this situation and/or common ground I can find with the other person.”
Level 6 Interpretation (Intuition and connectedness): “Every situation is a valuable experience and becomes a part of my story that will form me in important ways. I’m no better or worse than anyone else, we are all part of the whole.”
Level 7 Interpretation (Non-judgement and non-attachment): “I hold no judgement towards anything or anyone and unconditionally love everyone.”
I then ask:
1) How would that interpretation of your situation make you feel?
2) How would you behave as a result of that feeling?
3) How likely is that behavior to result in what you want?
Once we realize we can interpret and respond to the same situation in 7 different ways, a whole new world of possibility opens up to us.
We realize that often, our “normal” way of looking at and responding to situations doesn’t result in the outcome we were intending or hoping for.
More importantly, we realize we can choose a different interpretation that will lead to a different response and a different outcome.
Consider the responses that flow from each of the 7 ways of interpreting:
Level 1 Interpretation (Powerlessness and self-judgement): “This situation is my fault and/or I am powerless to fix it. This is unfair.”
Level 1 Response: Feel overwhelmed, anxious, or apathetic and avoid the situation or choose to do nothing.
Level 2 Interpretation (Blame and anger): “Someone else is to blame for this situation and this situation (or person) is bad or wrong.”
Level 2 Response: Feel angry or frustrated at the other person or the situation and confront or fight to get what you want.
Level 3 Interpretation (Rationalizing and coping): “I have at least some accountability in this situation. This is fine.”
Level 3 Response: Forgive the other person and/or tolerate the situation to try to get what you want. Convince yourself of whatever you have to in order to feel okay.
Level 4 Interpretation (Care and concern): “I wonder what is happening for the other person that would cause them to show up in this way. I know what they need to be okay.”
Level 4 Response: Feel compassion for the other person and seek to help or alleviate their discomfort in some way.
Level 5 Interpretation (Solution-focus and growth mindset): “There’s something I can learn from this situation and/or common ground I can find with the other person.”
Level 5 Response: Find something you and the other person both desire. Commit to finding a win/win solution. Reflect on what you learned that will help you grow.
Level 6 Interpretation (Intuition and connectedness): “Every situation is a valuable experience and becomes a part of my story that will form me in important ways. I’m no better or worse than anyone else, we are all part of the whole.”
Level 6 Response: Feel connection to everyone and everything, feel joy, and respond to situations with acceptance and wisdom.
Level 7 Interpretation (Non-judgement and non-attachment): “I hold no judgement towards anything or anyone and unconditionally love everyone.”
Level 7 Response: Feel connected to your higher power and create what you desire to experience in every moment.
I invite you to do the following quick exercise:
Think of a situation you’re currently feeling stuck in or frustrated by.
Review the overview of the 7 levels of interpreting above and consider how you would interpret your situation from the perspective of each level.
Determine which interpretation and response will best serve your current situation.
Sometimes massive change is really as simple as changing how we view things.
By the way, none of the levels are right or wrong, good or bad. Different situations call for different responses. The opportunity is for us to intentionally choose the interpretation and response that is most helpful to our current situation.
Want to teach your team how to do this? Learn how you can do that here.
Download our guide: 7 Ways to Interpret and Respond to: Not Getting the Job You Interviewed For.